🧠 “It’s not me – it’s the way my brain is wired”
ADHD, Anxiety & How CBT Can Help
If you live with ADHD, you probably know the frustration of having the best intentions, only to watch your plans fall apart. You sit down to start a task, but your brain pulls you in five different directions. You make a list, but halfway through the day you lose it. You promise yourself you’ll be on time, then get caught in a whirlwind of distractions.
It’s easy to start believing the unhelpful stories your mind tells: “I must be lazy. I just need more willpower. Everyone else seems to manage — why can’t I?”
But here’s the truth: it’s not laziness, and it’s not a lack of intelligence.
It’s the way your brain is wired. And once you begin to understand ADHD, it becomes easier to shift away from self-blame and towards strategies that actually work for you.
🌟 Understanding ADHD
ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) is often misunderstood. People might reduce it to “being easily distracted” or “not being able to sit still.” In reality, it’s much more complex. ADHD affects how the brain regulates attention, motivation, planning, and impulse control.
There are three main types:
⚡ Hyperactive/Impulsive type – people may feel constantly “on the go,” find it hard to relax, and sometimes act before thinking.
☁️ Inattentive type (sometimes called ADD) – this involves more “quiet” symptoms like zoning out, losing track of conversations, or drifting off into daydreams.
🔄 Combined type – a mix of both hyperactivity and inattentiveness.
👉 Many adults aren’t diagnosed until later in life. For years, they may have wondered why things seemed harder for them than for others. School reports might have said, “bright but easily distracted.” Work evaluations may highlight “great ideas but poor time management.” Over time, these experiences can chip away at confidence, leading to low self-esteem and the painful question: “Why can’t I just get it together?”
📌 Everyday Challenges with ADHD
Living with ADHD can feel like running life’s marathon with a backpack full of bricks. Common struggles include:
🎯 Difficulty focusing on tasks that feel boring or overwhelming
🌀 Starting projects but rarely finishing them
📅 Forgetting deadlines, appointments, or where you put your keys
🤔 Indecisiveness — getting stuck in “analysis paralysis”
📂 Disorganisation — piles of unfinished paperwork, cluttered emails, or chaotic workspaces
😟 Excessive worry and anxiety about not keeping up
These challenges aren’t a reflection of laziness or lack of effort. They’re simply how an ADHD brain processes the world. But the consequences — missed deadlines, unfinished projects, constant rushing — can create a feedback loop of stress and self-criticism.
🔗 ADHD & Anxiety: Why They Often Show Up Together
It’s no surprise that ADHD and anxiety frequently go hand-in-hand. Imagine this cycle:
🚧 Unfinished tasks pile up. Each one adds pressure.
⏰ Deadlines are missed. Panic sets in.
💭 Negative self-talk creeps in. “I’m failing. I’ll never change.”
🔄 Perfectionism fuels procrastination. You put things off because the task feels impossible to do “right.”
Over time, this cycle wears down your confidence and creates a constant background hum of anxiety. For many adults, it can feel like living in survival mode — always playing catch-up, always worried about dropping the ball.
👩💼 Case Example: Anna’s Story
To protect privacy, names and details have been changed.
Anna was a 34-year-old project manager who came to therapy feeling exhausted. Every week started with a fresh determination to “get organised.” She bought planners, downloaded apps, and made colour-coded spreadsheets. By Wednesday, she was overwhelmed. Emails piled up, meetings were missed, and projects slipped through the cracks.
On top of this, Anna was battling constant anxiety. She described lying awake at night replaying everything she hadn’t finished, convinced she was failing at her job.
Through assessment, Anna discovered she had inattentive-type ADHD. At first, she felt relief — her struggles finally made sense. But she also felt grief for the years spent blaming herself.
In CBT, Anna learned practical tools:
🗓️ Using her calendar as her external brain, with reminders for even small steps.
✅ Breaking big projects into chunks and rewarding herself for each one.
✍️ Keeping a “worry log” so her anxious thoughts didn’t spiral endlessly.
💡 Identifying her values — creativity and teamwork — and focusing her energy there.
Six months later, Anna reported fewer sleepless nights, better control of her workload, and most importantly, a shift in self-talk. Instead of “I’m useless”, she found herself saying: “My brain works differently, and I have tools that help me manage it.”
🛠️ How CBT Can Help
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is one of the most effective psychological approaches for ADHD and anxiety. The beauty of CBT is that it’s practical, structured, and tailored to your real life.
With the support of a therapist, CBT can help you:
📖 Understand ADHD – Reframe symptoms as part of brain wiring, not personal failure.
🗓️ Build external systems – Routines, reminders, and structure to reduce chaos.
✅ Make tasks manageable – Break them into steps that feel achievable.
✍️ Challenge worry loops – Replace spirals of “what if” with balanced, realistic thinking.
⏳ Overcome procrastination – Use timelines, timers, and accountability strategies.
💡 Reconnect with your values – Focus on what matters most to you, so daily life feels meaningful.
🧘 Beyond CBT
While CBT is powerful, it’s not the only option. Many people benefit from combining it with other approaches:
🌿 Mindfulness-based therapy – helps improve attention, reduce impulsivity, and increase tolerance of frustration. Mindfulness also builds awareness of the present moment, making it easier to pause before reacting.
💛 Self-compassion practices – people with ADHD often grow up feeling “not good enough.” Learning to treat yourself with kindness instead of criticism is deeply healing.
🤝 Support systems – whether it’s coaching, peer groups, or apps designed for ADHD, external support can help you stay on track.
✨ A New Perspective
Here’s the most important takeaway: ADHD is not a personal flaw. It’s a different way of experiencing and processing the world.
With the right strategies and support, you can:
🚀 Reduce daily struggles
🎛️ Feel more in control
🌱 Build self-confidence and resilience
Instead of asking “Why can’t I be like everyone else?”, the question becomes:
👉 “How can I work with my brain, not against it?”
Because once you stop fighting yourself, you unlock the possibility of living with greater ease, focus, and self-acceptance.
🛠️ Try This: Simple CBT-Inspired Tools for ADHD & Anxiety
Here are a few practical steps you can experiment with today:
⏳ The 10-Minute Rule – If a task feels overwhelming, set a timer for 10 minutes and just start. Often, the hardest part is beginning, and momentum will carry you forward.
🗂️ Externalise Your Brain – Don’t rely on memory. Use calendars, phone reminders, sticky notes, or apps to hold information for you. Think of these as “extensions” of your brain, not signs of weakness.
✍️ Worry Parking Lot – Keep a notebook or notes app where you “park” worries when they pop up. Revisit them later, at a set time, instead of letting them hijack your focus in the moment.
Small steps like these can help you feel more grounded and give you a sense of control over both ADHD symptoms and anxiety.
